Single mother of 9

It has been 3 days since Ciri the house mother has left. Her mother is having surgery and so she decided to take a month leave, leaving me alone to care for the house. A couple weeks ago I was so overwhelmed with the thought of caring for the girls alone, one of my girls absolutely hated me and was making life miserable. I now know she was just testing me and I had yet to win her trust but boy did she make it hard. She has a horrible temper and there is no getting through to her when she's angry. I have since learned to step away from her when she's in her "explosive stage" because often times she calms herself down and is totally compliant afterwards. Its been quite a journey getting to know the girls temperments, likes, dislikes etc and learning to deal with them individually. Sometimes its so hard that I find myself having to pray to the Lord for Him to teach me to love them as he loves them. Its crazy how after I started praying that I really have fallen in love with these girls. The one that I had so much troubles with I see in a totally different light. I can rejoice with her in her small steps of improvement and see the battle within her when her anger is at its height. One thing that has been a huge turning point with her was this chart I made for her. We have each day of the week a new line where we can fill in frown faces when she misbehaves and happy faces when she behaves well and does things extra around the house. If she earns 4 happy faces in a day she gets to do something specialif she gets three frowns she has to do a punishment. We have all the rewards and punishments written on the chart and she chose them all. This has helped so much because she knows what to expect and she knows the direct results of her misbehaving. She absolutely delights when I pull out the chart and we talk about it. We go over all the faces and talk about why she has them. Its an encouraging time for her because we get to point out all the wonderful things she did that day. After having alot of fights beginning with my other girls I decided to make a chart for Rocio as well and then one by one almost all the girls wanted them. Even my 14 year old ASKED if she could have one! They're so cute.


Life here is without a doubt crazy. I have to wake up at 5 each morning so I can have alone time with God. I am so desperate for that time to just spend time praying and reading His Word. If I don't set aside that time in the morning I cannot find it during my day and I ache to just speak with my Lord, to seek His direction and be filled by Him. I am not saying this to sound "spiritual" I honestly cannot do this job without the Lord. I find myself stopping and praying, or praying as I go for strength constantly throughout the day. I am so worn out I feel like a zombie, sometimes I just want to be ALONE and other times I cannot find the patience in me to deal with the constant needs of the girls. God has been so good to me and he has answered my prayers and gets me through each day.

A glimpse of my home.
At 6:15 I couldn't believe my ears, there was silence in the house as all the girls were outside. I got so excited that I decided to finally write my cousin back. I made a cup of tea and sat down and wrote one paragraph before the girls began filtering in. Esme came in first spreading her homework all over the table, she has more homework than any child but does it so willingly and without complaints. I've really bonded with Esme my 13 year old. I feel like her big sister! Gloria my 14 year old joined us in the kitchen laughing nonstop, something must have gotten in her blood because she was absolutely crazy, falling on the floor laughing and dancing around the kitchen. An hour later she completely crashed and fell asleep! I then called in the younger ones from outside and the house was once again filled with craziness as all the girls prepared themselves dinner. The kitchen served speghetti but we allow the girls to choose what they want for dinner so dinner is kind of crazy. The table was filled with homework, craft supplies, and a bunch of little girls trying to eat. Immediately after dinner I got the littlest, Nancy bathed and in her pjs. I made her go to bed early as shes starting to get sick. When I got the littlest ones in bed I sat down with some of the others and we worked on my Spanish. The girls delight in teaching me so we sit down and I practice speaking and writing and learning new words and they in return show of their English. Finally I managed to direct all the girls to their beds and now its 920 and I must sleep I'm utterly exhausted and 5 comes way too fast. So yup thats life for now!

I hear a scream from inside the house and run in expecting to witness another fight. At the lunch table earlier today I pleaded with the girls "podemos tener UN dia sin peliando POR FAVOR!!" Translation: Can we have ONE day without fighting PLEASE!" Gloria piped up, "I didn't fight at all yesterday!" That may or may not have been true but that doesn't mean the other 8 didn't!

When I entered the house to figure out what the scream was about, all I could understand was that it had something to do with poop and the girls were laughing so I knew they weren't fighting. Someone had clogged the toilet. Next thing I knew Dalia headed to the bathroom with a surgical mask on, a bag covering her hand, and a can of air freshiner. Welcome to my world.

I sat down to write my sister at 1:00 and completed around a paragraph in about 3 hours. TOday was crazy. Ciri was gone all day so I had the girls to myself. I have a couple girls with really bad tempers and so they cannot be left unsupervised for any amount of time or all hell breaks loose. Well that would have been easy if I weren't trying to do a million other things. I was in the middle of doing laundry as all the girls seemed to want my attention at once. I had to run to the laundry room hang up a couple things then fly back to the house to make sure everyone was still alive, answer a question or two and then fly back to wash a sock and so on. I ran around washing socks, hanging up clothes, cleaning up the house, helping with homework, punishing girls, stopping fights, giving hugs, cleaning up spills, and trying to do it all with love.

9 little girls have me wrapped around their fingers. I'm so in love with them, but that does NOT mean it is easy! I found myself exhausted and wanting to give up as a couple of my girls have been SO naughty! I have had to go to the directors numerous times pleading for advice on how to deal with them. I was having a really rough day when I remembered the prayer I had JUST prayed, I prayed for God not to let me be comfortable but to stretch me. He was doing just that. I cannot do this job without Him. I've been praying so much for the Lord to create bonds between the girls and I and for him to teach me to love them as He does. God has been answering my prayers! I cherish my time with my girls! Sitting on my bed having Ana flop down on my lap. Nancy falling asleep in my arms, or following me around with her hand in my back pocket. Rocio smiling her adorable toothless grin. Carmen sitting side by side with me in my bed chatting online. Gloria being her crazy self. Nieves watching my every move. Dalia and her sweet notes she leaves for me. Magai and her soft spoken heart of gold. I'm in love with these precious girls!

wordless secrets

I was heading out of the dining hall this afternoon when I saw sitting at the table the most adorable little boy with downsyndrome. Each morning that I see him he just lights up my day. I waved at him and he continued to gesture for me to come over. I crouched down next to him and began chatting. He cannot speak but his expressions say it all! He gave me many hugs and kisses and then my friend Raquel came over quickly he began whispering worldless sounds in my ears and pointing at her as if telling me a funny secret about her. I began playing along replying with "no way!" "es la verdad?" "no es cierto!" He found this so hilarious that he was cracking up. Another boy with special needs began playing along as well. We just laughed and laughed like it was the greatest thing in the world. This was by far the best part of my entire day. Those children are the most precious gifts from God. Each day I cannot express how much they impact me as they fill the entire room with such joy and join together singing praises to God totally out of tune at the top of their lungs. THAT I believe is far more beautiful in the ears of God than any perfectly trained voice. I prayed to God for a miracle today, I wanted to see His power at work. I think these young boys were my miracle for today.