The little moments remind me its all worth it

I was growing discouraged today as I had to be on my girls heals barking orders at them all morning. "Nieves you're distracted again, keep cleaning!" "Dalia you're not leaving your bedroom till it's clean" "Rocio this is the LAST time I am helping you clean your closet. If you mess it up again you're doing it yourself!" "Ana you didn't sweep well there is still a bunch of dirt on the sidewalk" "Esme did you wash your socks and underwear?" "Stop fighting or I will send you BOTH to your beds" Sometimes I feel like I'm always nagging the girls and I hate it. I thought to myself today, the job of a parent really isn't fun. Here you are with the children you love yet you are responsible of them, training them, disciplining them, and having them do the necessary daily tasks. To sum it up, you get to be the bad guy. I was thinking how much I'd just love to be a friend to my kids and my only responsibility would be to have fun with the kids. It would be so care free! I grow so angry with myself when I find myself short with the girls or paying more attention to the tasks they need to do rather than spending time with them. Sometimes I just feel like an utter failure. Tonight as I was about to get in bed I checked my facebook to find that one of my girls had written me. She wrote "ola te quiero mucho con todo mi corazon y con mi carino me gusta que me cuides por que eres muy divertida y gracias por ayudarme a la tarea y por que me cuidaas te quiero " Translated it says "Hello I love you very much with all of my heart and carino(can't even translate that word right), I like it when you take care of me because you are very fun and thank you for helping me with my homework and because you take care of me i love you" It almost brought tears to my eyes it was so sweet. My girls give me so much grace. Even when I mess up, when I don't treat them with love, they bless me with hugs and kisses and snuggle up next to me or fall asleep in my arms. That makes it all worth it. I love them so very very much, they are blessings from God to me.

Made for this

"You were shaped to serve God. God formed every creature on this planet with a special area of expertise. Some animals run, some hop, some swim, some burrow, and some fly. Each has a particular role to play, based on the way they were shaped by God. The same is true with humans. Each of us was uniquely designed, or "shaped" to do certain things." This is a passage I read in 'The Purpose Driven Life' the other morning. I was so inspired by this chapter I read. It was all about how God has a plan for each of our lives and he created us for that, he shaped our personalities, our passions, and all the events in our life to fit exactly what He has called us to do. I know this so certainly in my life. Since I was little my passion was to be a missionary and work with orphans. I'd cut out pictures of children from all over the world and hang them up on my walls and place them in my Bible reminding me that one day I'd dedicate my life to helping them. It's my heartbeat and the thing that makes my heart race just thinking about. In highschool I often struggled being there knowing there were so many hurting around the world and I wanted to be there helping. Each morning I'd play this music video from Invisible Children as an encouragement, everyday I'd be a step closer to my dream. Now I look around me and realize I am living my dream. God allowed me to do EXACTLY what I dreamed of doing my entire life. I'm doing just what he shaped me to do. How very blessed I am!!


So let me update you on my home.


My lovely ladies are doing wonderfully and I am falling in love with them more and more each day. How many children do you know wake up before 7 to have the house cleaned before their mom wakes up?? Or how many teenagers do you know wake up at 5 to suprise the family with homemade tortillas? I don't know of many besides my ladies. The other night I sat at the kitchen table studying my 14 year olds math so that I'd be prepared to help her the next day and from her room I heard her leading the little ones in prayer. I have incredible daughters who God is shaping to be amazing women after His own heart!



My days have been very filled but I'm loving every moment of it. I usually wake up at 5 and wake up my older girls and have some alone time with the Lord before the littlest wake up. The others get up at 6 and we get ready, clean up the rooms, make our beds and go to breakfast at 7. Right after breakfast I go to the daycare to help get the little kiddos there ready for the day. We bath them, get them in clean clothes and do their hair. I usually end up spending most of my morning there until my girls come home from school at 12:15. We have lunch at 1 and then spend the afternoon doing homework, chores, and playing. I am happy to be able to help my girls in the area of math because math is the same in both languages praise the Lord! As for homework I can only help the littlest ones because my Spanish isn't good enough for the older girls homework. If I have time in the evening I've been trying to do more physical stuff with my girls so somedays we'll go for bike rides or take walks or go running. I usually round up the girls around 6 to come in for dinner and then bath and everyone is in bed by 8. I cannot believe how fast the days and weeks fly by! I get so sad thinking about leaving here but I pray the Lord will give me the peace when the time comes.

The Lord has been so faithful to me and I cannot do anything but praise Him! I've been really struggling with one of my little girls as she has anger issues and often takes them out on me. I've been told to shut up, been hit, had things thrown at me, doors slammed in my face, etc. Somedays I just grow so discouraged. Each morning I wake up and pray for the love and patience I need for her and just some good quality time to build a relationship built on love for one another. God has been SO faithful in this! For the last 5 days she's been very pleasant and I've been able to really enjoy quality time with her. She's even crawled into my bed a couple times to give me hugs and tell me she loves me. Moments like this are worth it all. God is good and is working in her heart and mine as well.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement always!

Samantha

Tsunami

"Did you hear the news?" Delila asked when she entered the daycare this morning. She quickly filled us in about the Earthquake in Japan and how there were tsunami warnings for here in Baja California. Being worrier that I can be sometime I immediately began thinking about what if there was a huge tsunami here? What if this was my last day on earth? What would I want to tell people? Did I live to the fullest? Do I have any relationships that I have not mended? Being faced with a thought like that really puts you in the right perspective. We shouldn't be worrying about this finally when the day comes, I believe we should live each day like this. We never know if its our last and so we shouldn't stake our hopes in our future. Don't wait until tomorrow to apologize or say I love you because what if tomorrow never comes? To be honest I felt a sense of peace when it came to many parts of my life. After the death of my friend Sarah God has really made me realize how short life is and so I've made a great effort to live each day to the fullest and to never leave someone on the wrong note. By the grace of God I was able to mend the one relationship that was left on a bad note and now I can say honestly I do not have a single relationship that I'm left worrying about. I've really made a point to live my life to the fullest. One thing however was on my mind, one thing I wanted to change. Many times I find myself keeping to myself my real motives, my real reasons behind everything I do, and that would be my faith. Every part of who I am, and how I live is because of my Savior Jesus Christ. I don't want people to believe I'm just a nice person, or believe that I have good morals, because thats not it at all. I'm not a naturally nice person or have good morals everything I am and everything I believe is because of the change Christ has made in my life. It's only Him in me that is the beauty. He is the reason I wake up each morning passionately excited about the day before me, because I can live each moment of the day for him and allow those around me to experience HIS love. It's because of Him that I have love because HE first loved me. He loved me exactly how I am. He made me so content in the way that I am that I do not have to worry about how others view me, I do not have to worry about having a bunch of money or looking beautiful or being "successful" as the world sees successful. He loves me just as I am! I am filled with his love and joy everyday and therefore I do not even have to worry about myself but can pour out love on those around me because I have all the love I need. I would not be who I am and would not do what I do if it weren't for Jesus Christ. Now don't freak out I'm not dying and I hope my mom doesn't read this and freak out but I just want to be sure that one day when i DO die that my life would point to Jesus Christ. That people would look at my life and know there IS a God and He passionatly loves his children and that I dedicated my life to living for him, and every minute was worth it! Often times people don't want to listen when people share about their faith because they think it is just that person trying to pressure them to accept what they believe. Thats not what I am trying to do. I don't want to force anyone to believe anything because you can't. It has to be that persons choice. All I know is what I've experienced in my life I wish everyone could experience. I wish every person I met could KNOW the Lord and feel what I feel everyday in my heart. That's my hearts desire.