Plunging into to deep waters.

On this cold January morning, my eyes burn from tiredness, eyes not yet ready for the day that has arrived. While my eyes drag behind my mind is running a mile ahead. I had the blessing this morning, as I do each week to meet with Dr. Schmutzer, a professor here at Moody who has dedicated the time out of his own busy schedule to meet with me for an independent study on sexual abuse. For the past six years I have been overwhelmed by the occurrence of sexual abuse around me. Children I’ve worked with, teens I have mentored, and friends I have shared life with. It is a horrible abuse(as all abuse) that is rampant and affecting our world more than we desire to admit. It is a taboo topic that many do not want to address and yet I find myself unable to avoid it, so I’ve stopped trying. I have learned that if I want to affectively work with people, it is an issue I must face. As I read through Dr. Schmutzer’s book, “A Long Journey Home” (Which by the way I would highly recommend!) I found myself overwhelmed by the complexity of the issue. Sexual abuse is not an isolated event, or an issue to be tackled on its own. Sexual abuse is woven into a large web of histories of brokenness. Generations of mindsets and culture all play their role, making finding a spot to step in extremely difficult. As I sat and discussed with Dr. Schmutzer the many facets at hand, I found myself so grateful for people like him who have such a passion to help broken souls, (which includes every one of us) find redemption and hope in Christ Jesus. There is no quick Bible verse to stamp over the wounded heart to find healing, it takes a life long journey and eternity to follow, of allowing Christ to penetrate and restore every part of us. There is no simple answer, but as I tried to explain once to my sister, my heart’s desire is not to wade in the shallow waters of my own formed ideas of God, but to plunge in deep over my head to find the God who is big enough to answer the painful questions.